Barbara's Beat: Review: Stop Reacting and Start Responding™, 108 Ways to Discipline Consciously and Become the Parent You Want to Be

Thursday, January 20, 2011

Review: Stop Reacting and Start Responding™, 108 Ways to Discipline Consciously and Become the Parent You Want to Be

Recently, Sharon Silver, parent educator and author of "Stop Reacting and Start Responding™", talked to moms about parenting issues on MomTV.

As a member of a new reviewer program with Living My MoMent, who joined forces with Proactive Parenting™,  I had the opportunity to review Silver's new book prior to the show. But, to hear her talk about parenting was an awakening for everyone listening.

Silver's book of tips will allow you to respond instead of react to your children. I highly recommend it. It's easy to read. Silver explains a situation, then gives the solution. I wish I had this book with my two kids, but I know it will come handy for the grandkids.

You can't give in to your kids. As a parent, you have to be persistent and stern. There are no second chances, because your kids are smart and will take advantage of you, she said.

Silver said children need to learn, and you yelling at them doesn't teach them the rules. Being supportive and repetition teaches them what they need to know.

Children will test you in different ways. But, punishment for every little thing during childhood, may have a negative impact when they become teens. Not only is your relationship in jeopardy, but they may rebel.

"A reminder-choice allows you to be consistent, accomplish cooperation in an instant, and does it all by responding to the needs of the situation, not reacting to the  misbehavior," Silver said.

I've often said kids will do things to get yelled at if that's the only way they can get attention. Silver agrees, saying if you focus on a child's good quality's, even if they're small, he will see what he gains from the positive reinforcement of “good” behavior.

Silver said children need boundaries. And, you must stick with them. Once a child gets their way they feel empowered to negotiate every situation.

Don't engage in arguing with your child either. Remain silent until your child realizes she’s arguing all by herself. Then continue with what you were doing.

"Don’t just tell your child what you don’t want him to do," Silver said. "Tell him what you want him to do instead of what he’s doing."

Silver explains how discipline empowers a child to be responsible. She said repeated punishment, however, can create rebellion.

Buy the book for $12.95.

Twitter: @livingmyMoMent
Website: Living My MoMent

If you argue or become mad easily, your kids grow up thinking that it's the norm. Our children copy our behavior, so our anger makes our kids angry. They also learn to tune us out when we constantly yell at them.

Full Disclosure: “I am a participant in a Living My MoMent campaign for Proactive Parenting™ and have received the e-book Stop Reacting and Start Responding™ by Sharon Silver as part of my participation.”

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